People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
