What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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