We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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