I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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