help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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