with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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