legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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