Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
