Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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