it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
too bad you live with your parents still
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
