3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
