come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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