One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
