Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
