Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
