just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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