Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
