me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Panties = found
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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