Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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