So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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