Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
