You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
