i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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