I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
