I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
