I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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