Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
