shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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