woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
