It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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