Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
