I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
