i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
