You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
