I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
