She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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