bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
