Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
