As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
