Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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