so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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