Just cropdusted the office
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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