if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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