so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
