I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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