You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
dude. I can hear the air.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
