ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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