His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
