Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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