I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
