dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
