i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
tell me about the eggs
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