She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Your face is a jimmy john
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
