allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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