I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
