You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
