You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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