I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.