I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
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I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup