I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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