They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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