YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
